TOUR DIARY #1: INTRO
Ok, here is the tour diary page folks. Look how long ago I started it and didn't put it up. I am lame! But don't fret, I don't talk about anything timely and I'm not too focused, so the odds of you getting more lost than me are slim...
Hello friends, welcome to the exciting "Website Tour Diary." It's September 2002, "Blacklisted" just came out, so it's almost time to go on a big-ass tour. I've just had 3 wisdom teeth pulled, so I can't say I'm as excited as I'd like to be. Perhaps when this "dry socket" goes away and I am able to stop taking the "devil pills" I will find my enthusiasm once again. I'm way behind schedule because of the missing teeth, but the up side is, I've watched a lot of Burt Reynolds movies. Tonight it was "Hooper". Last night it was "Smokey and the Bandit". The devil pills make me think Burt is very attractive. I asked my roommate, Kathleen, to bring home "Cannonball Run" for tomorrow. I think she is also finding Burt sexy, but she didn't get any teeth pulled so she doesn't have an excuse. Anyway, I need to go over a few things before we begin:
1) Sometimes being on tour is very boring to read about. I've been going though some summer entries, and I shock myself with how boring I am! Yeesh! But I'm not going to lie to you folks, I may embellish here and there, but I'll never lie. One thing I can promise you is, being on tour is nothing like that "Almost Famous" movie. No one on this tour has a glamorous drug problem that makes us look "dewey" and "sexy" all the time (sorry), we actually eat and sleep, yet we hardly ever have time to have sex, so if it's tabloid dirt you are looking for, you've come to the wrong place. Believe me, if we strike tabloid-dirt gold, I'll be the first to let you know. Pray for us people!
2) You wont find me going into great detail about how the show went unless it's really unusual. I can't write about every show, my attention span is too short. A great deal of our shows are really fun, but it's a bit awkward to talk about yourself on stage... "Yeah, we really rocked 'em tonight, put 'em in their place I'd say, blah, blah..." Gross. I'd much rather focus on what is written in the ladies room, or what I'm eating. I'm a simple man.
(And by the way, the best thing I ever read on a toilet wall was at Gabe's Oasis in Iowa City. It reads: "Your mom swims out to meet troop ships")
3) I'm not so good at English.
4) I ramble a lot.
There! Are you ready?! You are now on tour.....................